She Isn't You
by deejaymcknight
Summary: Nicole was a great girl, but there was one thing wrong with her. She wasn't Claire.


**So this came to me at about three in the morning, finally getting back into the writing curve. I have a few one shots planned for Claire/Alice plus the culmination of CTA pt. 1 as well as the continuation of Sacrifice and Within the Realm. If you haven't the slightest idea what I'm talking about just take a gander at my profile and it'll explain better. Thanks for reading, I own nothing but the character Nicole.**

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><p>Nicole was a nice enough girl. She really was. But she wasn't Claire Redfield, no one ever could come close to her. Sure she had red hair, a shade that was a bit too extreme but red none the less. And she had a set of green eyes that could make anyone <em>but<em> Alice reduce to a useless pile of much. After the orbs the brunette had spent the better part of six months staring at? No gaze would phase her.

She was funny, and she liked to sing. She danced around when there was down time, which at first bothered Alice to no end who believed that time should be used to plan; though she did remember dancing around with Claire after a particularly powerful pout that had her forgetting the outdated map extended in the bed of the supply truck. The thought passed through her mind as the other redhead pulled her away from her post on the wall and wouldn't let go of her hands. For a moment, Alice smiled. The first smile she could remember in nearly a year since saying goodbye to the helicopter in the desert. A bit of her heart broke with that.

The first time they kissed another part broke. It was a hesitant one, brought on by Nicole in front of the fire that night after everyone had gone to bed. Alice never slept anymore, not that she would if she had to anyway. Instead she stayed up and kept watch over the small group she had begun traveling with once she hit the Arizona/New Mexico border. She didn't respond at first, partly from shock but also she couldn't. It wasn't Claire's lips on hers, the ones kissing her now were too questioning. Nothing was questioning when it came to Claire Redfield, she had enough confidence for the both of them. An image of her past came to hit her in that moment, reliving her first kiss with Claire. It happened quite like this one, only the two were fighting beforehand. About something stupid, favorite comic book characters. One said Wonder Woman, the other said Zatanna, they both called each other insane. They laughed, leaning into one another before their lips touched, both throwing themselves into the kiss as soon as it started. It didn't stop until their lungs begged for oxygen, both coming out of it with heaving chests and stupid grins on their faces. As the imagery faded into darkness once more Alice felt her hand come up, resting against Nicole's face, eyes closed as she fought to capture those memories once more.

The first time they slept together, Alice knew this was all a mistake. This girl didn't deserve what Alice was doing to her. She was a replacement in every sense of the word except when it came to her heart. No matter how hard she tried, she'd never take that spot from Claire and part of Alice had a feeling that she knew this. The brunette had learned to stop speaking about the other woman, which wound up leaving her very little to talk about. Was it her fault that the damn convoy leader was on her mind every second of the day? Yes, it was but she wouldn't trade those thoughts for anything in the world, which is why she knew this was a mistake. Nicole had invited her to one of the rooms they had procured at a roadside motel that night, claiming she had something to talk to her about. When Alice arrived the other girl was laying across her bed, stark naked, same damn nervous expression she had whenever she had a plan that included Alice. Every move was questioned, every so often a soft spoken 'Is this okay?' would float through the room but Alice remained quiet, simply nodding and going through the motions. She wasn't really there, hell. She hadn't really been there since that stupid fucking helicopter left the ground, her heart and whatever was left of her soul had left for Alaska almost one year before this day. Instead of sitting and mulling over that fact she closed her eyes and pushed onward. Nicole _wasn't_ Claire, but for tonight she would be.

Things slowly started going down hill after that night. Alice was distant, more so than usual. The smallest spark in her eyes had faded to nothing, she was a hollowed out shell. Nicole noticed and tried to get her to talk, tried to open her up and take a look inside but it didn't happen. So they fought, night and day, hateful words being thrown back and forth until one day the vivacious redhead went a step too far. The words rang through Alice as if she was sitting underneath a church bell that had just gone off. "No one else on this Earth will ever love you Alice, and you fucking know it! That whore Claire? She probably shacked up with someone the second she got to Alaska, forgetting all about the freak she had come across in the desert. Or she got herself killed." She had the audacity to laugh at this, a humorless, dark laugh accompanied with a sneer as if she had won with that jab. Alice closed the space between them, hand gripping at the now silent woman's throat and lifting her the few inches so they were face to face. "You don't say that. You _never_ say those words in front of me. You're a replacement. You're nothing to me. You don't love me, you love the idea of me you self centered bitch." The usual calm and collected woman was shaking, tears burning trails down her face as she let her grasp weaken and dropped the now gasping redhead. "I'm done. You're not her, and you never will be." Words she had wanted to say since the beginning had flown from her mouth and before she knew it she was gathering her things and hopping on the motorcycle she had come across the day before. It was fitting for this part of her journey, this new chapter. Enough room for one.

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><p><strong> Six months later<strong>

Arcadia wasn't real. It was an airfield riddled with planes similar to her own, piloted by those who had the same dreams that she had. Freedom from the world full of death and sadness. She scoured anyway, hoping that maybe it was just beyond the field, that people really were there and happy and _alive_. When she came across nothing she felt deflated. All that fight that had been going through her veins since this epidemic had begun suddenly wound up as a puddle on the floor at her feet. When she saw the figure move from out of the corner of her eye she swore she was seeing things, but still ran after it. Even when the figure attacked her she found comfort in knowing she wasn't alone. Once the fighting had stopped she felt that surge drain once again when she kicked the person over and saw whom she was looking down at. _Claire_.

When the redhead woke up a few hours later Alice knew. She knew she remembered nothing. That determination to break free from her binds seemed to be the only thing left of the Claire that she knew, aside from that piercing stare that had the brunette shuffling slightly just to know she hadn't been paralyzed by it. The work she had done on herself, repairing who she was so she was worthy of the woman sitting in front of her now; was useless. Whatever pieces of Alice's heart that were still together shattered completely when she realized this fact; the words of Nicole hitting her once more, just as hard as they did six months prior. It was true, no matter if it was against her wishes or not. Claire had forgotten all about Alice.

Slowly her memories returned, but nothing that gave her any idea as to who the woman she spent every waking moment of the day with was. It frustrated her to no end, especially when she'd catch Alice looking at her a certain way that sent a fire through her body, as if someone had just ignited a firework. She tried to will herself to remember but it never worked and only got her more mad. Whoever this woman was, she had to have been important back when she knew who the hell she was, why else would she react so strongly?

The road ahead would be rough, Alice knew this all too well. She knew that it could very well be an eternity before Claire's mind finally sparked and remembered her and what the two had but she realized something. She'd wait an eternity and then some if it meant getting Claire back, no one would ever replace her. No matter how hard Alice may have tried.

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><p><strong>Review even if you hated it.<strong>


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